What follows are the preseason picks by the NZ media’s youngest sports reporter. Some squads elicited a stronger response and thus received a greater amount of commentary. Keep in mind that Crawford is an avid footballer and a big fan, but that he is also only 8 years old. All thoughts are Crawford’s, but some editing has been done for clarification. Enjoy!
Top 4
1 – Chilean Menace – Strong squad. Witsel was a good value selection in Round 7. I love this team! More than my dad’s. This team will win the league.
2 – Maychester United – Good keeps, good first two picks, but wouldn’t have gone Vidal in Round 3. Why Grimaldo at pick 20?! Good manager
3 – FC Cers – Solid squad. Why would you draft Lucas Hernandez after Felipe? Attack and midfield look really strong.
4 – Farcelona – Bentancur in Round 4 was key. Appears that a lot of thought went into building this team. Is this the squad to repeat as champions?
Mid-table
5 – Wedge Bromwich Albion – Only miss out on Top 4 by goal differential. Very strong squad.
6 – Mancs In Black – Good keeps, but Dybala before Son, why? Great manager. Decent team, high mid-table.
7 – Los Hijos de Chud – Good time, great start to the draft. High mid-table finish.
8 – Pocket Dawgs – Good team, but curious to see who will start in goal.
9 – Halfman United – Good keeps. Should have picked Mkhitaryan before Blind. Looks like a well considered squad. Good backup keeper. Probably drafted too many midfielders. Santi Cazorla, just no. Brendan Rodgers should have been dropped and a new manager brought onboard. Solid mid-table finish here.
10 – Arbor Red – Good keeps and a strong start to the draft. Extra style points for picking Robben and Ribery. David Luiz at pick 18, really?
11 – BBC – Why Onana so early in the draft? Rodri should have been drafted later.
12 – The Pigs – Calvert-Lewin should have been picked later. Perišić in Round 10 was a big value pick.
13 – Nilwall – Fati Round 2 and Grealish Round 3? Hard pass on that. Good team, may struggle on defense.
14 – LBdlF – Closer to the bottom of the mid-table. Questionable choices with taking Buffon, Ochoa and Ospina
15 – Crystal Phallus – Ruben Dias is a good player, but is he Round 3 good? Aaron Ramsey would have been a better choice than Dias at Round 3. Good squad, but not Top 4 good. Lower mid-table finish
16 – Weasels – Questionable first three picks of the draft. May have handicapped the entire season from the start by not taking stronger players early.
17 – Sporting Martyrs – Good keeps and good first two picks. Props for the Vinicius Jr. pick. Why Javi Martinez in Round 18, and why David Neres in Round 20? Low mid-table finish.
Bottom 3
18 – FC Carrcelona – Why keep Leon Bailey and Alex Sandro?! Seriously SMS in Round 2? Kimpembe should have been drafted later. Dani Alves is too old. Ben Yedder at pick 15 was a steal, but Daniel Wass was a wasted pick. Go home Sir Alex Ferguson, you’re drunk. (Crawford wants to note that he never said “you’re drunk”. That was added by his dad/editor)
19 – Les Waller and Sarah Davison ASAFC – Why keep Luis Alberto?! Navas was drafted too soon. Smart keep on João Felix. Rodrygo, I get he’s good at free kicks, but just no. Dest was a wasted pick. I have no idea who that manager is.
20 – Surreal Madrid – Suspect keeps. WHY ALL THE STRIKERS?! This may translate to a strong attack, but there is no way to pick this squad anywhere above the Bottom 4. Steve Bruce has to go. Surreal will finish last this season, again.
Other Preseason Predictions
Most Assists – KDB
Top Goalscorers – Mbappé, Lewandowski, Kane
Golden Glove Top 3 – Oblak, Lloris, Onana
First Manager Sacked – Steve Bruce
Darkhorse Team of the Season – Crystal Phallus or Halfman
The People’s Champion – Surreal Madrid
Any Final Thoughts – Why wasn’t Pukki drafted?!
