Our collated pre-season 4 power rankings:
18th Surreal Madrid
5-4-1
With this season’s recruitment idea Surreal Madrid is paving the way. Is it the way to title contention or Sansa prize? We wish the former but think the latter.
17th Möhömahamörssit
5-1-2-2
With their quality being up the field, packing the defense seems the right idea, but will it be enough? We believe bouncing back after a tough season is harder than it looks. We rank them 17th but hope them to be higher.
16th Halfman United
4-1-4-1 DM Wide
Coutinho, Mahrez, Griezmann, Aubameyang is a combination that would frighten any defense. Will the club be able to recover from the passage of king of average player Lionel Messi? This remains to be seen.
15th FC Carrcelona
4-2-3-1
A team packed with talented attacking midfielders. Will they be clinical enough though? Can’t wait to see if eyebrows will return his trademark Christmas tree formation mid-season!
14th Nilwall FC
3-4-3
The sensation and runner-up of last season. We believe the loss of their playmaker will have a stronger impact than it looks. Will Pekerman be able to make for Havertz’ departure with an other creative tactic?
13th Chilean Menace
4-2-3-1
First new team of the season. Well rounded roster overall, will they be able to cope with the Gobshite best league in the world? Can’t wait to see how the French backline fairs this year.
12th Le Ball de la Foot
4-2-3-1
First ever champions coming back for another round after a good showing last season. Change in approach with a new formation and a new star player. Better be cautious overall.
11th Arbor Red
4-1-4-1 DM Wide
Arbor Red’s organisation has pinned down its biggest area of improvement: the keeper. Out 80-goals-a-season veteran Buffon, in best-in-class Handanovic. We believe their work during the drafting period will pay.
10th Pocket Dawgs
5-2-1-2
An always promising side. Sad that their first signing shows a lack of ambition. An average year in perspective.
9th Les Canards
3-1-3-1-2
Fans have changed their banners to support Les Canards and their… innovative coach! Can’t wait to see how he makes use of Ozil and Lewandowski.
8th Maychester United
4-1-2-2-1
Ronnie’s made a habit of being the best player in terrible teams, but with Zizou at the helm, will we see a turn around? A higher rank was tempting, but we suspect it might be the same old story for the Maychester boys.
7th Mancs in Black
4-1-2-2-1
A strong first XI, but we’re concerned that a few key injuries could be costly for Allegri’s currently unknown men. We hope Mbappe doesn’t spend his vast talent too early & that Škriniar can help an aging Ramos keep it up.
6th Farcelona
4-1-2-2-1
Losing club icons Neymar and Joe Gomez is going to hurt this otherwise solid side. Sane has not had the chance to shine in the Gobshite League during the past three seasons, is his time now?
5th FC Cers
4-1-2-2-1
Last season’s champions have dropped a little in our estimation, despite keeping the core of the title-winning side. Will the inertia of victory set in for Enrique and the boys, or are they set for another consistent season?
4th Sporting Martyrs
4-1-2-2-1
Retaining the midfield 3 that nearly cantered home to the title, before injuries let it slip, is a plus. How much of a downgrade swapping Bobby Firmino for Top 10 is yet to be seen, but we still expect a title challenge.
3rd Los Hijos de la Chud
4-2-3-1
Of all the new boys, Los Hijos look like the most solid team. Lacazette seemed like an odd first pick, but since then the DoF has put together a canny team, provided Donnarumma remembers he is a goalkeeper.
2nd Weasels
5-2-1-2
Gasperiniball is dead, long live Lambertball. Propelled by a brilliant pair of strikers, this is the season for the S2 champions to push for another star on their emblem.
Champion Brigstock Big Cocks
4-1-2-2-1
Lots of exciting returns: DoF, Bale and Sir Alex Ferguson. Will years of sitting furiously in the director’s box have dampened SAF’s smart squad management & tactical nous? The league favourites, no question about that.
